After attending our Intensive Swimming Lessons this week, it has reinforced how important that we, as parents, actively teach our children to be resilient, independent, problem solvers.  Our goal is undoubtedly that our children will be loving well-adjusted, confident, responsible, hardworking adults.  This does not happen magically.  It is the result of what we say and do. It starts from when they are pre-schoolers.  Have you fallen into the trap of doing for your child because its quicker and a whole heap less painful?  It is vital that your child is independent, it translates into so many things.  For example, at swimming this week we have noticed lots and lots of things

• Children that ask other children to tie their shoe laces for them (not older students but their own classmates)
• Children that can not pack their own bag
• Children that can not find their own belongings in their own bag and need a classmate to help them find it
• Children that are not able to dress themselves
• Children that are able to dress themselves but take an inordinately long time to do so (x4 times the time taken by other children)
• Children that struggle to carry their own bag – they don’t know how to deal with straps and cords, hold a bag, bear its weight.
• Children that cannot brush their own hair

Look! I am a parent and a grandparent.  I have been there but short term pain is worth the long term gain.  It might take a little longer to teach your child to be independent but the benefit for your child is well worth it.  An independent child approaches life with a more positive mindset.  This is so important for them at school and as a learner. For example, yesterday in class we were missing a couple of hundred’s charts to play a maths game.  One child was industrious problem solving looking through other sleeves to see whether she was able to discover the missing chart, the other child sat there waiting for someone to solve the problem for them. 

Teaching your child that they can do things by themselves, that they are competent little individuals translates into their understanding of self.  Independent learners are risk takers, they are not afraid to face a challenge and fail as failure is simply part of the learning process.  It is what you HAVE to do to learn something new.  Please ensure that your child does not see failure as a negative.  I believe the opposite.  If you never fail you are only doing what you can already do – what is the challenge in that. 

There are lots of great websites that have tips and ideas for helping parents help their children to become more independent.  Don’t despair its never too late! I particularly liked the tips below.

• Make your expectations known
• Invest time into teaching
• Establish routines
• Create Charts
• Shape their behaviour
• Provide praise
• Offer incentives
• Create behaviour contracts
• Don’t nag or beg
• Allow for natural consequences